Attachment
by Kegel
Summary: As Greg and Sara’s relationship develops, not only Greg wonders if he can trust her, but Sara does as well, when an uncanny familiar case makes her question what lies inside her. SaraGreg
1. Sara remembers

**Attachment**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own CSI or any of its characters.

**Summary:** As Greg and Sara's relationship develops, not only Greg wonders if he can trust her, but Sara does as well, when an uncanny familiar case makes her question what lies inside her. SaraGreg

**Rating: **T

**A/N: **This is a sequel of 'Hidden Damages' and 'Retrieval'.

'Attachment' is set three months after 'Retrieval', and the first bit will primarily deal with what happened in this time span.

Thanks to _Emmithar _for betareading. :D

* * *

**Chapter 1: Sara remembers**

It was around noon when Sara left the lab, strode over the parking lot and climbed into her car. For a moment she considered going home, but turned into the direction of another part of town instead, and it did not take her long to reach her destination. She searched her bag briefly for the key to the apartment, before she walked in quietly and pulled off her shoes, tiptoeing then into the living room, finding it empty as she had expected.

Sara was about to enter the bedroom when doubts came up in her, if it was not rude to just come into the house like this. Come even into the bed actually. It was not her apartment after all.

Suppressing her doubts, Sara walked quietly into the bedroom and undressed quickly, watching the sleeping figure in the bed. Then she climbed onto the mattress next to him, crawling below the blanket, facing him. She had just made herself comfortable, when she noticed that her intention to not wake him had failed, as Greg was looking at her sleepily.

"Sorry," she whispered. "I shouldn't have come…"

"I like it that you did," Greg said softly, reaching out to her. Sara came a bit closer so that Greg could lay his arm around her back.

"You can come any time… that's what the key is for," he underlined.

Sara did not answer, but closed her eyes, remembering the first time she had stayed at Greg's place three months ago.

_The sun had not gone up yet when Sara stopped the car. They weren't early off shift, but had not really been working that night at all, Greg not anyway, since it was only his first night back in Las Vegas after the abduction; the only reason he had stayed that long in the lab at all was that he had wanted to wait for Nick and Warrick._

_Now Sara looked at the man who was sitting in the passenger's seat of her car._

"_Thanks for giving me a lift," he smiled. "Brass said I should have my car back soon."_

_Sara nodded quietly. It was still too good to be true that Greg was actually sitting there next to her._

"_You're welcome," she blurted then out, reminding herself of that polite response. _

_Greg seemed to hesitate briefly. "Can you … stay?"_

"_Greg, I don't think that's a good idea."_

"_I don't mean it like that," he ensured her quickly._

"_I think we should take it slowly."_

_Greg laid a hand on her arm. "And I think we should've done something already months ago."_

_Sara was silent. As if to busy herself she turned off the engine and took the key off, fiddling around with it in her hands._

"_No, it was right, that we didn't do anything months ago. You were completely right."_

"_But what's now?" Greg paused. "I don't really want to stay alone today," he explained then and Sara looked at him frowning. He knew that he could have asked her anything this day; she had been afraid for him, was highly relieved that he was back safe and sound, and now he did not want to stay alone._

"_Okay," she agreed slowly._

_Greg smiled. "I'll take the couch and-"_

"_No, you don't," Sara said clearly. "If I stay, I'll take the couch. You'll sleep in your bed. You didn't have a place to sleep for the last days."_

_Greg had to admit that she was right. The last four nights he had been forced to sleep on the passenger's seat of a car, and he was truly longing for his own comfortable bed._

_Some minutes later they were standing in his apartment. Sara was still in her jacket and looking as if she still did not consider it a good idea for her to stay. _

"_Want something to drink?" he asked, almost shrugging. Sara shook her head._

"_Well, if you change your mind, just help yourself," he offered, pointing to the kitchen. He left her alone briefly, returning after a minute with a pillow and a blanket out of the bedroom. He laid both of them on the couch, noticing that Sara had at least taken off her jacket by now._

_Sara saw that he was tired and it was completely understandable, after all that he had gone through, sleeping probably very little during that time. She decided that she should not keep him from sleeping any longer. So she walked over to his couch, sitting down on it, and smiled weakly._

"_Good night, Greg."_

_His smile was broad. "Good night, Sara," he replied, before he walked into his bedroom, leaving the door to it open._

It had been the first night of many by now that she had stayed at his place, but still she was hesitant to just turn up and let herself in, especially when he was not there or when he was sleeping, knowing that she would not have liked this kind of intruding into her home as simply as Greg did.

Sara opened her eyes again and saw that Greg had fallen asleep again. She was glad about it. He had not always slept well in the past months; the happenings of three months ago were still haunting him sometimes. Altogether he was doing fine, better than one would have expected, but in his sleep he could not always escape the memories.

Sara had had to realize that already the first time she had stayed.

_She slept better than she had done in any of the previous nights, now that the fear was gone, but still she rested only for a couple of hours. When she got up, she saw the door to the bedroom still standing open. She took a look into the room and found Greg lying in his bed, awake, which made her wonder if he had been lying awake the whole time, despite his tiredness. She would not have been surprised._

"_Are you checking on me?" he asked smiling._

"_Maybe," she admitted, smiling back weakly. She was about to close the bedroom door, telling him to get his rest, when he stopped her._

"_I've been awake the whole time."_

_It was what Sara had been afraid of. She looked around in the room, wondering what to do, what to say._

"_I had hoped it would help that I stay," she said helplessly. _

"_Me too."_

_Some hours ago, back at the lab, Greg had appeared calm, had been joking around, had obviously been dealing surprisingly well with all that had happened, even though he had mentioned that it was affecting him, but right now it showed that things were not so easy._

"_Well, there's nothing we can do about it now," Greg shrugged. "I guess I'll be able to sleep again in time… I mean it's only one day ago that it's over… I can't expect that everything's back to normal by now… That's why I asked you to stay…," he rambled on. Sara had been hesitant to stay at all, but now she could not stop herself from walking over to him, after she had closed the door behind her, and sitting down on the bed next to him._

"_Do you want me to stay here?" she asked quietly. Greg did not answer, but looked at her pleadingly and Sara took this as a positive answer. She laid down next to him, taking his hand in hers, avoiding physical contact apart from that, hoping that Greg would be calmed down so much that he would be able to sleep._

_Greg grimaced. "That's not exactly calming for me, you know."_

_Sara lifted her head and looked at him, frowning._

"_How can I be calm when you're lying in bed with me?" he specified._

"_You should sleep." Sara propped herself on her arms, leaning over to Greg, and planted a kiss on his lips, any plans on redeveloping their relationship slowly obviously gone, not that Greg had ever been in favor of that._

Greg had taken her into his arms after that, and soon they both had fallen asleep, although Greg still had not been able to sleep much on that day.

Things had improved until now, three months later, and Sara was grateful for it. She had not been sure if she could give Greg the comfort he needed, although Greg had seemed to think so.

She had been called cold and detached in the past, and although she knew herself that she most certainly was not, even though she had sometimes tried to be like it, sometimes wishing she could be like Grissom and feel nothing, she had been worried Greg might experience her that way and miss the warmth and comfort he was searching in a relationship.

At least physically there was not a problem. Greg had always been very keen on any physical contact; every "night" she had spent at his place had been very snugly, not that Sara was opposed to it. But in any other aspect of their relationship Sara still did not know if she could give Greg what he wanted, or needed, wondering from time to time if she was not too focused on herself and her problems for it and was just not made for any long-lasting relationship.

And sometimes she doubted that Greg would really want to have everything she could give and everything that came with it, if he really knew every facet of her.

**TBC**


	2. Greg plays

**_Thanks to Emmithar for betareading. :D_**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Greg plays**

Greg gave Sara a short goodbye kiss, stroking her shoulder, before she climbed into her car. He watched her drive away, and then made his way to his own car.

He did not have to go far, before he reached his destination and drove his car into the parking lot of a local gym where he had been a member for a while, although he often did not have time to actually work out there. When he came from a double or triple shift once again, he usually did not feel like going there, although he had learned that he could somehow still manage to get through a training session alive on only two hours of sleep.

When he was leaving the changing rooms, Greg could already hear the beats of the music that was the background sound for their work out. He regularly wished the instructor would have a better taste for music; that the songs he played were not exactly on Greg's favorites list was one thing, but that he played the small sample of songs again and again during every training session did not make it any better. So Greg tried to concentrate on the beats only, ignoring the rest, they were the important thing to keep a rhythm with their blows and kicks later on anyway.

The first minutes were dedicated to their warming-up, so Greg followed the easy jumping up and down, finding some childish joy in this simple movement.

Sara was not into this thing at all; he would have to force her to come if he wanted her to accompany him. That was not something he was intending to do; he was happy enough when he could convince her to participate in some of his plans for their free time together, which was not too extended anyway.

When the instructor in the front started with an easy combination of blows and kicks, Greg easily imitated his motions, having done these movements often before, so that he had still time to let his thoughts wander.

He would meet Sara at work tonight again; it was one of the fewer days on that they did not go in together. When their relationship had started to develop, much to the surprise to both of them as well, nobody in the lab had said anything against it or had even hinted that there was a problem. They had probably been much too relieved to see Greg back safe and sound as to bother him in any way about what he was doing in his own time, since he and Sara were keeping it pretty low-profile at work.

Later then people had simply been used to the fact that he and Sara were together, it had become some kind of normality that was not questioned anymore. Nobody gave them a second look when they arrived together. They did not do that every day though, only when Sara stayed at Greg's place or when they had been out somewhere together.

They hardly ever stayed at Sara's place. It was probably due to Sara's needs, Greg guessed. If they were at his place and she did not feel comfortable, she could go home to her own place any time, not that this had ever been the case so far. But if they were at her place and she did not feel well, he was there and she could not simply throw him out, well, she could do it, but she would not want to of course. If he came to her place, it was still somewhat of an intrusion into her privacy, she kept even her place rather to herself, although they were a couple now.

They had never openly talked about that issue, but Greg could feel that it was this way, and he realized that he just had to accept it like he had to accept that Sara still seemed to hold herself somewhat back in their relationship, a feeling he could not get rid of, while he had not yet been able to determine why she did it.

Two hours later Greg left the gym freshly showered, exhausted, but at the same time surprisingly relaxed. He stopped by his apartment, exchanging the used sport clothes in his bag with a change of clothes for work. He left again quickly, already making his way to the lab, stopping only briefly in between to buy some takeout that he wanted to take with him to the lab. When he arrived there, he found Sara unsurprisingly already at work.

Smiling he entered the room where she was browsing several files, sitting down next to her.

"Knowing you I guess you haven't eaten anything yet," he said. She turned her head to him, arching an eyebrow. Greg still smiled positively.

"I tend to forget it sometimes," Sara admitted.

"Well, it's good then you have your Greg who brings something for you." Greg shoved the food he had brought with him into her direction. Sara seemed to waver between her files and the food briefly, before she moved the files to the side and opened the food.

"That's nice of you."

"It is," he smiled complacent. Sara once again lifted her eyebrows at him, wearing one of the expressions he could not resist bringing on her face. Reaching out to her, he was once again sure that he was one lucky man. He kissed her affectionally in a moment when she had not expected it, but when he pulled back, she seemed to glow a bit. She finished unwrapping the food, handing Greg his portion, and Greg could see the grin she was trying to hide.

When Greg leaned in to her again, she stopped him.

"Remember we're at the lab," she told him in a bit cooler tone than she had intended.

"We're still on our own time," Greg argued apparently unimpressed, entangling his hand in hers. Sara suddenly brought a plastic fork full of food in front of his mouth and Greg took it hungrily, moaning then mixed with non-understandable curses.

"Didn't think … this is still so hot," he brought out finally, while Sara was still laughing.

A knock at the open door caught their attention then.

"Hey, you two lovebirds," Catherine greeted them, suppressing a smile.

"Hey," Greg brought out. They both were glad that it was not Grissom who had caught them. He probably would not have voiced his disapproval, but would have shown it in his whole demeanor.

"I got a scene for you, once you're finished here," Catherine told them with a knowing smile. She had been the one who had openly most approved of their relationship. Sara had not been able to help thinking that this was because Catherine had never been a special fan of separating professional and personal life anyway, but decided then that there had to be other reasons as well, even though she could only suspect them.

"Okay," Greg nodded. That they were still teamed up on cases had become a part of the normality at the lab as well, and they were both glad about it; their good working relationship had been the base for everything else after all. And that although exactly this working relationship had sometimes suffered in the past, causing setbacks in their private relationship as well. Greg hoped that they had left those problems behind them once and for all, but he sometimes wondered if that was not too much to hope for.

Catherine left and Sara rubbed her forehead.

"That was awkward," she stated.

"It's awkward for you to be seen with me?" Greg asked as seriously as he could. Sara's head turned to him abruptly.

"No… no, no, of course not."

Greg grinned, once again leaning in to her. He had been right. One lucky man.

Sara smiled. "Stop playing now, Greg, and eat. There's work to do."

"Yes, ma'am." Still grinning he started to shove the food into his mouth quickly, Sara watching him amusedly, while she picked some bites from her own portion.

* * *

Greg stopped the car and turned off the engine.

"Everything alright?" he asked joking, looking at Sara on the passenger's seat.

"Still alive," she returned, carrying forth one of their favorite teases. Another thing that had become normality was that Greg was regularly driving them to the scenes. In the past Sara usually had let him only drive on rare occasion when he had badgered her enough. But now it was as if she had given a bit of control out of her hands.

Greg reached out to her and took her left hand in his, giving it a short squeeze.

"Only work now, Greg, no play," Sara reminded him smiling.

"I know," Greg sighed, letting go of her. He opened the door of the car and got out, walking around to the trunk then and taking both his and Sara's kit out of it. He looked at the house at the other side of the street that was taped off with the black-yellow crime scene tape, while Sara came walking up to him.

"Here we go again," he said quietly.

**TBC**


	3. Sara watches

**_May I maybe wish me some reviews for my birthday that is today? _**

**_:P _**

**_Thanks to Emmithar for the beta!_**

* * *

**Chapter 3: Sara watches**

Sara was the first to enter the scene, Greg lagging a step behind her. He watched people hastening around the scene in the blending light of the patrols cars around on the suburban street, while Sara was talking with Brass.

Greg listened to the words of the detective, catching Brass' gaze then. The other man briefly smiled at him acknowledging. Their relationship had changed after the happenings three months ago. In the time before Brass had often barely acknowledged Greg and had seen in him a kid that did not really fit in, that did not belong in the field. Greg would have expected that this opinion would only be fortified by what had happened. After all it could be interpreted that way that Greg was not able to look after himself, that he got only into trouble.

But it wasn't like that. Sofia, who had been truly affected when she and Greg had met at the lab two days after he had been back, had told him that Brass had not been completely unaffected either when they had been searching for Greg.

Greg had noticed this to a certain extend when Brass had gotten him from the airport when he had arrived from Florida. The detective had not said much, but had given him a pat on the back for pulling through everything, having obviously found new respect for the former lab tech.

Greg did not really feel well with that. He would have rather earned the respect of the detectivewith good work in the field, not through a happening Greg rather wanted to forget and move on.

Greg followed Sara into the house. From the outside their working together was just like it had always been, but for Greg it had become even more important with the new bond between them. He had usually enjoyed working with Sara before and had learned a lot from her, just as much as he had from Grissom, since he had been much less afraid to ask her questions than he dared to ask his boss, and Sara herself had often explained him a lot, had told him about things he could not just learn out of the book, so to speak.

And now it was even better, the new relationship between them giving Greg also more confidence in their working relationship, although Sara did not hesitate to tell him about mistakes despite that.

They entered the living room of the house and were met by chaos. A lamp had been thrown over, drawers been opened, and all kinds of things cast through the whole room. They walked around everything that was lying on the floor carefully, not stopping in the room though, but continuing on into the bedroom.

The body of a man was lying on the way between the door and the double bed in the middle of the room. The bloody wound on the head and the apparently crushed skull told Greg clearly why the man was dead. Blood on the wall behind the body testified of the crime as well. Greg's gaze automatically went in search for the murder weapon but did not find it on first glance.

The bedroom was not as chaotic as the living room; it looked simply lived in, if not overly orderly. The double bed was still made, but the man was in pajamas, so Greg guessed that he had been intending to go to bed.

Sara had been looking around in the room as well. Now she looked up to Greg, asking softly, "Do you want to take the living room?"

Greg nodded, handing Sara her kit, before he left for the living room. He went over the room inch by inch, stopping only briefly some time later, when the coroner came to take away the body. Sara followed him out of the bedroom, but remained staying at the entrance to the living room.

"How are you doing?" she asked Greg lightly.

"Alright." Greg's gaze went to the lamp that he had already noticed when they had first walked through the room. He had just crouched down next to it, when Sara came. Lifting the apparently overthrown, shattered lamp carefully, he looked at the other side of it that had been lying on the floor so far.

"I think I just found the murder weapon," he told Sara contently, indicating the blood on the lamp. "It's heavy," he added, laying it back on the floor cautiously.

"Why bring it here?" Sara wondered aloud. Greg shrugged, looking around at all the other things that were still lying around chaotically. Sara wandered off again and Greg continued going over the room. He lifted tons of prints, bagged many hairs and fibers, but somehow he doubted they would really help since this place was lived in after all, traces would most likely be from people who had a good reason to be there.

Greg still needed several hours until he was finished, longer than Sara did for the actual scene, the bedroom, and that not only because she was working faster than him due to the fact that she had way more experience than Greg. He could not really get rid of the expression that either somebody had quite stupidly searched for prey, or somebody had caused the chaos purposely, just for the chaos itself.

Sara joined him even in the living room after she had gone over the few other rooms of the house.

"Why don't you take the outside?" Greg wondered, while she handed him an evidence bag for the print he was just taking.

"We can do that together later," she replied simply.

"I'm getting the impression you're keeping an eye on me," he stated, putting the taken print into the bag and labeling it.

"Somebody has to keep an eye on you, Greg," Sara remarked earnestly.

"We just have to look out for each other," he added in the same tone, almost shrugging, feeling a bit odd that they were having this conversation at a scene.

"Getting all mushy?" somebody teased from behind them. Greg thought he could see Sara rolling her eyes for a moment before she turned away.

"Hey," he greeted Sofia.

"I thought it might be helpful if you knew the account of the girlfriend," the blonde explained, looking around in the room that looked already slightly less chaotic now that Greg and Sara had gone over it.

"Sure," Sara agreed now.

"Well, the girlfriend states that she and the victim were getting ready for the night. She was just in the bathroom, when she heard noise coming from the living room. She walked out into the hall and saw two masked perps. She grabbed the phone in the hall and locked herself into the bathroom, calling the police," Sofia narrated. "She was still in there when we first got here and found the body of the boyfriend in the bedroom."

Both Greg and Sara nodded.

"What do you think, B&E turned bad?" he asked Sara.

She shrugged. "Maybe." She closed her kit and picked it up, before she walked out of the room, leaving Greg with Sofia behind.

"She's looking at the yard now," Greg told Sofia explaining, not really knowing why he felt the necessity to do so.

Sofia smiled at him, and Greg wondered briefly if she was laughing at him inwardly.

"I was kidding earlier," she stated.

"I thought so," Greg ensured her. Sofia was just about to leave the room, when Greg remembered something. "I almost forgot… Nick says hi," he told her. Sofia frowned slightly, shaking her head, and walked off. Greg finished up the last piece of evidence he thought relevant in the room, before he went to join Sara outside.

He walked slowly around the house, paying attention to not accidentally destroy any possible traces on the ground that Sara might have not gotten to see yet, until he found her crouched down under what he thought was the bedroom window.

"Window shows no sign of forced entry," she told him, when she saw him coming. "No foot prints on the ground either," she added, standing up. "I'll still print the window."

Greg nodded. "I'll take the next, okay?"

"Do that."

When he was walking past her, Greg stroked her back lightly, causing Sara to smile faintly, but also to look nervously into the direction of the front yard if somebody had seen them.

Greg made his way to the window few feet away. The picture was similar to Sara's window. There were neither signs of forced entry nor any traces on the ground. According to the account of the girlfriend, she obviously did not know how the perps had entered.

It was still going to be a long night.

* * *

Sara drew down the blinds at the window to keep the midday sun out of Greg's bedroom. She had just arrived at Greg's place, a little later than him, since she had stopped at her place briefly to feed her cat, having a bad conscience that the animal was even more alone than she had been before Sara had regularly stayed at Greg's place.

Greg was sitting on his bed, waiting for her. Sara lowered herself onto the mattress, Greg bringing his arms around her back immediately. It was now that they could take comfort in each other again.

Later Sara was lying awake while Greg was sleeping, cuddling against her. She watched him sleeping and was not able to help noticing that he looked even more harmless sleeping than he did when he was awake. It did not come out of nowhere that she sometimes had the feeling that she had to look out for him, although the horrible events some months ago certainly added to it.

Sara had closed her eyes and was drifting off to sleep, when she noticed that Greg was not really cuddling up against her comfortably anymore, but shifting around restlessly. Woken up by his movements, she sat up slightly, watching him worriedly.

He seemed to wince in his sleep then and Sara moved still a bit closer to him, trying to snuggle up to him again, hoping it would calm him in his sleep, hoping to avoid that he woke up.

Then Greg seemed almost to jump up, when he sat up suddenly, calling something Sara was not quite able to understand, still dazzled at his sudden movement that had jolted her up as well. It was a moment later that her understanding set in, while she tried to calm Greg with soothing words. He was sweating and repeated quietly what he had called.

"She," he breathed, causing Sara to frown worriedly, while he was squeezing her hand more firmly.

**TBC**


	4. Greg wonders

_A/N: Thanks to Emmithar for the beta!_

* * *

**Chapter 4: Greg wonders**

Greg tried to calm his breath, running his hand through Sara's hair, taking in her scent, before moving it along her back and drawing her closer. She was still whispering soothing words to him, but Greg did not really listen to them, feeling almost guilty that he was trying to find his comfort another way, holding her close.

He felt his way around her thigh, feeling the scar that had remained from her attack half a year ago. He stroked the spot softly, ignoring Sara's confused questions. She had been a victim as well. And on that day she had hurt him as much as she had ever done before.

He had learned to trust her again, and she had helped him, comforted him, probably more than she thought herself, after he had become a victim too. He trusted her, loved her, took comfort in her, after all and despite all that had occurred, and he had to remind himself that despite all that he had seen this night, if real or not.

He opened his eyes, looking into her face, while he was still stroking her. She smiled at him, and after all his guilty feeling that he was using her solely for his own comfort vanished.

"I'm alright," he whispered, and she smiled even more.

Half an hour later they were sitting at his kitchen table, while the coffee was brewing.

"Will you be okay, if I go to my place today? I need to get some things done," Sara asked, taking two cups out of Greg's cupboard.

"Sure."

Sara turned to him, leaving the door of the cupboard open. "Really?"

"Yeah," Greg nodded, but asked then, "Can I come over?"

Sara closed the door, before she took the cups and placed them next to the coffee machine.

"Of course."

Greg stood up, and walked the short distance over to where Sara was waiting for the coffee to be ready. He put his arms around her waist, laying his head on her shoulder lazily.

"You weren't trying to flee from me, where you?"

Sara glanced at him out if the corner of her eyes. "Of course not," she smiled. "Just come over tonight. I'll even cook dinner. Or we can go and get something, if you're not brave enough for my cooking."

"Okay," Greg agreed, kissing her when Sara turned to him.

* * *

Sara was just turning off the stove when she heard the ringing of the door bell. Checking quickly if the stove was really out, she made her way out of the kitchen to the front door. Greg did not have a key for her apartment, as opposed to her having one for his. She had not really thought about giving him one, since she preferred it anyway that they stayed at his place, and he had never asked for one either.

She opened the front door slowly and saw indeed Greg standing outside. He looked rested and Sara was glad that his sleeping problems had apparently not taken a toll on him.

Greg closed the door behind the two of them and followed Sara into the living room. He dropped onto the couch, reaching out to Sara, signing her to join him.

"I have to get the food ready," she protested smiling, when he pulled her down to him. Greg was too busy to really listen, but when Sara drew back slightly, he leaned back, smiling sheepishly.

"What did you say?" he winked.

"Aren't you hungry?"

"Hhm, admittedly… I am."

"I promised to prepare something," Sara reminded him amusedly.

"I remember that one," Greg stated grinning. At this moment Sara's cat joined him on the couch, watched critically by Sara. Greg reached out to the cat that climbed over him.

"I guess she'll keep me company so that I won't feel lonely while I have to wait for the mysterious Sidle dishes," Greg stated, winking at Sara again, who left him behind, heading for the kitchen again.

She was just filling the food on two plates when she heard the distant ringing of her cell phone. Unless Greg was making fun of her and calling her, which was a definite possibility, it was most likely work. Sara groaned. For once she was not inclined for that at all.

The ringing did not stop though; ignoring it was not an alternative. Sara marched back into the living room, looking for her phone, curiously watched by both cat and Greg. Once she had spotted it, she picked up.

"Hey." She saw how Greg put the cat onto the floor, sitting up and listening. "Yeah, I'll come in," Sara said somewhat resigned. "Yeah, he's here," she added after a moment, on which Greg grimaced slightly. "I'll tell him," Sara finished the call. Pushing her phone into the bag of her trousers, she looked at him. "I guess you know it."

"What do they want?"

"The scene from last night – they have the girlfriend in for interrogation. Sofia asked us to come in as well, since we worked the scene," Sara explained.

"No food?" Greg questioned.

"I'm afraid that not," Sara sighed. "I'll put it in the fridge, maybe we'll have time for it later… tomorrow…"

"Or next week?" Greg suggested ironically.

"You're not really missing out on anything," Sara replied weakly. Greg did not seem too happy but stood up, stretching himself pointedly, while Sara vanished into the kitchen again for a minute.

"Well, then let's go," Greg shrugged, already more upbeat, when she came back. He laid his arm around her waist, shoving her softly out of the room into the hall. He grabbed her jacket, holding it for her to get it on.

Sara giggled, a sound that made Greg smile. She slipped into her jacket, turning around then and kissing him softly.

"I'm glad you're okay," she said.

* * *

"Here you go," Greg marched up to Sara, handing her a small pile of papers he had just fetched.

"Thanks," she smiled, "You'll wait here?" she asked him, indicating the general room behind the mirror from where they were able to look into the interrogation room where Sofia and the girlfriend of the victim were waiting on them.

"Yeah," Greg nodded and Sara made her way into the interrogation room while Greg placed himself behind the mirror, watching and listening. Sara greeted the two women inside and sat down next to Sofia. They went to the questions just following procedure and Greg found his thoughts wandering off to the scene they had worked the night before.

Greg started focusing more on what was happening in the room when Sara looked through the papers he had brought her earlier and frowned. She moved a paper over to Sofia, indicating something, and Greg wondered what it was wishing he was included in the interrogation as well, but knowing that there was not really a good reason for intimidating a witness, a victim actually, by more people being in the room than necessary.

Sofia stood up and walked out of the room, leaving Sara alone with the other woman, watched by Greg. Sara said something but Greg was not able to understand it. Sofia walked past Greg, making her way quickly along the hallway.

Greg could see that the woman who was sitting opposite of Sara was talking, for her mouth was moving but he could not understand what she was saying. He noticed how Sara's expression became rigid. She was staring at the other woman and Greg wondered what she had said, but could only assume that it had been something that had angered Sara which was not going to make it any easier for her.

Sofia returned not much later and sat down next to Sara again. She smiled faintly.

"It's alright. I checked it," she nodded toward the woman opposite of her.

"So I can go then?" the woman asked.

"Yeah," Sofia replied. Sara was giving Sofia a look, but chose apparently not to comment. Greg made a mental note to ask her later what that had all been about.

Sofia and Sara joined Greg soon after the girlfriend of the victim had left. It was not even close to the beginning of their normal shift yet, but Greg and Sara decided to start working on the evidence they had brought back from the scene.

Greg waited until Sara was spreading the evidence bags on the table in front of her, looking as if she was contemplating which of the bags she would give Greg, before he asked her about the interrogation.

"What did the girl say?" he questioned. Sara looked up to him. "When Sofia had left… the girl said something and you looked… angry?" he specified.

Sara frowned slightly. "It was nothing."

"Are you sure? Did she say something impolite about you?" Greg returned, a small smile creeping on his face because of the indignant and defending undertone that had slipped into his voice.

"That has nothing to do with me," Sara replied quickly, shoving a large evidence bag into Greg's direction. The dash she gave it made it almost fall from the table. Greg caught it though, looking at Sara puzzled.

"Sara…"

"Greg, leave it alone," she told him. He was still looking at her questioningly. "Get to work, Greg," she demanded sharply, and Greg's gaze dropped to the bag in front of him. He stared at it like he was staring into space, but after a few seconds he started to unpack it slowly, unwilling to get another reprimand from Sara.

He worked silently and it took a few minutes until he had built up the courage to glance at Sara. Her expression was unreadable; she was focused on the piece of cloth in front of her. Greg turned his look back to his own work.

He told himself to not make too much out of this situation, to not interpret too much into it. Had it not just been this morning that he had been so sure that he could trust her? He could not just lose confidence right now. But that she was trying to shut him out, that she was not thinking of him as a person she could relate what had happened to, even obviously work-related matters, did not really help. Somehow he was still waiting, after all that had happened, for the day to come on that Sara would betray his confidence once again.

Greg was hit by this admission to himself. He was still waiting for that. And he had thought he was over her actions months ago, had thought he had forgiven her. Maybe he had. Only it did not mean that he did not expect it to happen again.

**TBC**


	5. Greg ponders

_A/N: I really want to get into gear with this story; I just hope it comes out like I hoped when I planned it out lol. Thanks to Emmithar for the beta!_

* * *

**Chapter 5: Greg ponders**

_Greg leaned his head against the window of the car, trying to get a little sleep despite the situation that made him not feel like sleeping at all. His mind was going in circles. There was not a way out of the situation. But despite the anxiety he was feeling, he had almost dozed off, when the sudden opening of the door on the driver's side made him start from his slumber. He glanced over into the darkness nervously. _

_He saw the face of the insane woman again and she was handing him a pillow for the night. Before he could reach it, she drew back the cushion and came closer to Greg instead. He did not really know how or when it happened but suddenly she was pressed the pillow into his face. Greg could not move his arms, could not move at all actually, was struggling to breathe. _

_Time seemed to stretch, every failed breathe weakened him, but suddenly the pillow was drawn back again and Greg could see the face of the woman again in the darkness. It was not the same it had been before. _

Greg woke up, staring unfocused at the wall for some seconds, realizing that he had been dreaming, before he rolled to his other side. Sara was lying there, sleeping. She looked calm, nothing of the earlier anger was left.

Greg was still disappointed that she had not been ready to answer his question, a simple as it had been. It was not just that she did not want to tell him something personal, but it was something that could be related to the case they were both working. If he thought about it, she actually did not have the right to keep something a witness had said during a questioning from him. They were working the case as partners, and how was that supposed to work if he did not give him all information?

Of course, maybe it had been something personal that the woman had told Sara after all, even though that was unlikely, as they did not know each other. And even if it had been, Greg was still not able to get rid of the bitter feeling that she was keeping it from him.

He moved closer to her, stroking her hair softly, looking at her sleeping form.

"Why won't you tell me?" he asked quietly.

He stroked her hair one final time before he slid away from her again, resting his head on his own pillow.

"It has nothing to do with you, Greg," Sara answered suddenly. She had spoken quietly, her back to him. He had not noticed that she was awake, but sat up now to look at her.

Sara turned around, looking at the ceiling. Greg did not say anything, unwilling to ask again. He was not going to press her. He would not have asked again at all, if he had known that she was awake to hear him.

Sara sat up as well, coming closer to him, and leaned in to kiss him. Greg was unwilling at first, but then unable to resist her, so he returned her affection.

Greg finally turned around, bringing Sara below him, kissing her more intensively now, and Sara decided to enjoy his warmth, for she did not know when she would have so much of it in her life again.

Greg slept still some more hours and when he woke up, he was alone. Groaning, he forced himself out of bed. He found the letter next to the coffee machine. Smiling he folded up the piece of paper. Sara was telling him in few words that she had gone in early. It was actually very early, for it was still not late in the afternoon, going in at that time was weird even for Sara, unless there was something that had to be done urgently. Or unless she had changed to swing shift, Greg thought shaking his head, while he started up some coffee.

Of course she could do what she wanted, but Greg could not get rid of the feeling that she was trying to exclude him from their case. The last time she had done that, it had ended in a disaster. And that was maybe even an explanation for the nightmares that plagued his sleep, rather than him suddenly being not able to deal with what had happened to him.

He wondered once again for her reasons for acting this way. He could not imagine that she did it to anger him, or hurt him, or that his feelings did not matter at all to her. There had to be another explanation for it.

He remembered when he had first thought about how little he actually knew about her despite them being in a relationship. He had done very little before everything had gone downhill for a while. When she had taken into account to hurt his feelings deeply, hurt his professional reputation even, just so she got her way. A way that had not even been a reasonable one.

It had once again been a domestic violence case, and Greg had wondered back then if Sara had own, sad experiences with that. He had gotten that idea then, but he had not followed it since that time. Many things had happened since then, he and Sara had grown much closer, were now in a stable relationship. He had not really thought about it anymore, maybe assuming Sara would tell him one day, if he had really been right with his suspicion.

But that had not been the case. Maybe he had been wrong after all. It was not like the patterned repeated itself now. They were not working a domestic violence case, and Sara was not acting unreasonable or unprofessional. Greg was probably even the only one who thought that something was off.

Perhaps his own insecurities about their relationship were making him exaggerate the problem. Maybe he just had to trust her more, trust that she knew what she was doing, and was not acting against him in any way. Had she not just shown her affection only a few hours ago?

Still the doubts were nagging on him.

* * *

Greg slowly fought his way through the mass of people, having spotted Nick at the far end of the bar. The dimly lit room was stuffed with people, many of them already smelling after many drinks that early at night. 

Nick had now spotted Greg as well and grinned widely. Once Greg had reached him, he dropped down next to him. He looked around and saw that Nick had secured them a good view on the large monitor that would show the football match they were going to watch.

"Where's Sara?" Nick asked laughing. "I though you'd ask her to come?"

Greg shook his head, grimacing. "I really doubt she's into this," he had to speak loudly so that Nick would hear him over the noise. "Actually I didn't get the chance to ask her. She went in very early," he added, sighing, a sound he knew Nick could not hear.

"Is anything off between you two?" Nick asked suspiciously, but the good mood remained in his expression, for he doubted that it was actually the case.

Greg shook his head. "I don't know," he replied though, stopping talking, when the noise swelled on as the match was started. Once it had become somewhat quieter, Greg continued, "I don't understand her." He knew that this was not completely true, but could not help feeling this way.

Nick looked at him bemusedly. "I think you understand her better than anybody else."

Greg took a gulp from his drink. "What do you know about her?" he asked his friend.

Nick shrugged. "Come on, I've been working with her for several years, what do you want to hear?"

"What do you know about her outside of work?" Greg specified.

Nick smirked at him, looking as if Greg was kidding with him. "She's your girlfriend."

Greg leaned back, turning to watch the match. Nick had not quite answered what Greg had meant. He had wanted to know what Nick could tell him about Sara before she came to Las Vegas, but it was not the right place to talk about that anyway, especially if Greg's bad feeling turned out to be right.

* * *

It was early in the morning when Greg made his way home, both he and Nick having the night off. He was almost at home when he checked his cell phone and saw that he had missed two calls from Sara. He had not been on call, but realized that he should pay more attention to his phone anyway; it could have been something urgent after all.

Calling Sara back, he walked into his apartment.

"Hey, Sara, what's up?"

"I just wondered where you are," she told him. He could hear the bustling of the lab in the background.

"It's my night off, remember?"

"Oh, sorry, Greg. I forgot about that."

"Yeah," Greg said slowly. "If you go in that early, you can easily forget that people have sometimes off…"

Sara chose not to answer on that. "I'll talk to you later then."

"Uh, Sara?" Greg stopped her quickly. "Will you come over this morning?"

"Of course."

He could hear her smiling, and it made him feel much lighter than before.

She hung up then, and Greg made a short visit to the bathroom, before he crashed onto the couch, intending to wait for her.

_The anger was once again in her face. She was staring at him, repeating her earlier words. _

"_Greg, go," Sara warned him. "I don't need you here." She was shutting him out, that she was. And Greg could not understand why. "I'm warning you…"_

_Greg stared at her bewildered, but turned away finally, only to find himself face to face with the woman who would kidnap him. She was smiling at him, like she usually was. Greg backed away, but could hear Sara's voice behind him. _

"_I warned you," she said coldly, before she turned away from him, marching off into the house that would be a crime scene, while the other woman grabbed Greg's arm, smiling even more. _

"_Greg…Greg…Greg…" she said, and Greg wanted to get away but found himself unable to move. He could not follow Sara, she had sent him away, but he could not get off from this woman either. _

"_Greg…" she voiced softly._

Greg opened his eyes and found himself facing Sara now. He needed a moment to remember where he was. Sara was kneeling next to the couch, looking at him worriedly, but there was another expression in her face as well that Greg could not quite interpret.

**TBC**


	6. Sara questions

_So I'd really like to know what you think about this story since I am going off a little from my usual simple picking-on-Greg-and-Sara. Thanks to all you reviewed so far. I hope you'll continue enjoying this fic. _

* * *

**Chapter 6: Sara questions**

Greg sat up on the couch, while Sara was still watching him apparently worriedly. She had obviously just come from work, was still in clothes that smelled after decomposition.

"I should have taken one or two beer less, I guess," Greg noted bashfully into the quietness of his living room. "It's been messing with my head." Actually he had experienced those nightmares before; it was not anything new, alcohol-induced.

Sara did not answer, but stood up, looking down at him. He could see her frowning in the bright light of the morning that was shining through his living room window. He had not planned to fall asleep, but crashing onto the couch early in the morning did not exactly thwart that.

"Let's go to bed," he suggested, still feeling tired although he had already slept for several hours. He wondered about Sara's silence. Had he said anything in his sleep that had hurt her? He looked at her out of the corner of his eyes, but Sara seemed to be pondering in herself.

Then she nodded. "I'll just have a quick shower. I came directly from a scene."

"I smell it." He winked. "Go ahead." Sara vanished into his bathroom and while he could hear the water running, Greg changed into something more comfortable, since he was still wearing the clothes he had put on some hours earlier when he had arrived home from his night out with Nick. Falling asleep in them had not been his plan after all.

Greg waited for Sara in the bedroom and it did not take long before she climbed into his bed as well. Greg looked at her; he saw her only in the dim light of the room, as the curtains were drawn down now.

"What did you do so early at the lab yesterday?" he asked quietly. Sara going in early was no news, but Sara going in when he was still sleeping and when there was not even an emergency was odd, even for her.

Sara propped herself up, leaning in to him. "Some research," she said quietly, kissing him. "On that case," she added without further explanation, kissing him again, before she dropped down next to him, entangling her fingers into his hair and making herself comfortable next to him.

Greg dozed off soon, his thoughts still on the questions that had followed him the last few days, but for once he was enjoying a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Sara had thought the whole day about stopping by at Grissom's office. A better opportunity than just snowing in had come up, when her boss had actually called her into his office. She had paid careful attention to close the door behind her.

Now she was sitting in front of his desk, waiting for what he was going to say. Or maybe it was better to start with what she had wanted to ask him.

"Do you remember," she started slowly, when he was just looking up to her, "when I told you about my parents?"

In a way, she would have wished he did not remember. She was still feeling uncomfortable thinking of the situation, hating it that she had not been able to hold it together back then.

"Of course." Grissom frowned slightly. "Why?" His expression was open now, curious.

"Did you ever… tell Greg about it?" Sara asked quietly. Her glance went involuntarily to the side into the direction of the hallway, as if she wanted to make sure nobody was listening there.

Grissom leaned back, frowning more deeply now. "Sara, you and Greg are living together, aren't you?" His uncomfortableness to ask a question like that was clearly to hear.

"Not directly living together, but we are… together, yeah," she nodded.

"For how long?" he questioned further, and Sara was getting slightly irritated, for Grissom knew all the answers to his questions.

"Some months," she replied nevertheless. It had been even longer since they had first been dating, before things had become difficult between them.

"How long have you known each other?" Grissom continued, and Sara wondered if he was playing games with her.

"Some years."

Grissom was silent for some moments, before he finally stated, "It is certainly not me who would tell Greg about your family." He apparently did not feel the need to discuss this point any further, or to ask why she had wanted to know, for he changed the topic after that.

"Why I called you," he started, "was to ask you if you want to come with me to Oregon. I was asked to hold a guest lecture in a forensic program there and was offered to visit their fairly new body farm. Since I know that you're interested in that…"

Sara was surprised. She had not expected an offer like that to come from him.

"Sure," she replied, "Thanks, really. When's that going to be?"

"I know it's on very short notice, but we'd leave tomorrow. It's only for two days, so you don't need to pack much."

Sara nodded silently. Standing up slowly, she smiled at her boss. "Thanks again."

"You're welcome."

Sara left smiling, thinking only now again of the original reason she had wanted to talk to Grissom. Although he had not answered her directly, she had drawn the conclusion that Greg did not know from Grissom about her parents. She did not know if Greg knew at all; she had certainly not told him. But she had gotten the feeling that Greg knew something, or at least suspected something, whatever that was.

Sara could not forget the expression in his face when he had seen her next to him after he had woken up in the morning, when she had come from work. For a moment she had been convinced that he knew. The expression had vanished then, but Sara could not forget it.

Sara walked along the hallway in the lab, shaking her head. She had to be wrong; it was only this case that was driving her crazy. Greg did not know, he had certainly no reason to look at her like that. And still she felt like she had to talk with somebody about it, knew that she could not brood over it only by herself any longer. The trip with Grissom was the perfect opportunity for it. He had the facts; it was him who she would be able to talk to.

* * *

Greg was just trying to make the program on the lab computer do what he wanted, when he saw out of the corner of his eyes Sara entering the room, keeping standing a few paces away from him.

He turned around in his chair, admiring her in the dim light of the lab, before he smiled at her. "Hey."

"I want to talk to you," Sara said, returning his expression.

"Okay." Talking was good. It was something they were doing way too little in his opinion.

"Grissom and I are going to leave for Oregon tomorrow," she started. "He'll hold some guest lecture at a university and asked me to come along to visit the body farm there.

"Okay." Greg smiled.

"It's only for two days," Sara added quickly. Greg nodded. It was only two days, but he knew his place would feel empty.

"Unless Grissom gets too enthralled talking to the bugs, and you have to stay another night," he joked. He did not really know what to think about the trip. Somehow he did not like the idea of Sara and Grissom hanging out together, in a way, but it was not like he could hold her back, even though he would have loved to make such a trip with Sara together.

Sara laughed, and Greg was satisfied. She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, before she leaned in front of the monitor and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Trying to get this program to simulate the blood spatter of the scene where the guy was killed in his bedroom."

Sara sat down next to him. "And, does it work?"

Greg sighed. "Not really." He continued clicking on the screen while Sara was watching him frowning.

"Greg," she called after a moment.

He turned his head away from the screen. "Yeah?"

She raised her eyebrows, laying her hand over his on the mouse, shoving both to the side, clicking a few times.

"You have to do it like this." She smiled at him.

"Oh. Darn. Thanks." He shook his head, slightly embarrassed and unbelieving. "I've been staring at this for almost two hours."

Sara laughed. "It happens."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Greg admitted, continuing to work on the simulation. "Øving gjør mester," he murmured under his breath.

Sara raised her eyebrows again. "Papa Olaf?" she asked after a moment.

"My Dad," Greg corrected her, still staring at the screen. "And my Mum. And like everybody else. Again and again." He grinned somewhat embarrassed. "I got a lot of encouragement to try hard to accomplish what I wanted."

Sara smiled silently, looking at the simulated crime scene in front of them.

"And you?" Greg asked, turning to her again.

"I guess I just encouraged myself," Sara answered, shrugging. Pointing at the screen, she questioned, "So what does this tell us?"

Greg sighed inwardly at yet another failed attempt to get anything out of Sara, but drew then his attention back to work. It had just sounded as if she had been quite left to herself. Now really forcing himself to focus on the simulation, Greg followed the lines on the screen with his eyes.

"Well, if he was standing, the weapon must have come from below because the spatter has this upwards turn," he suggested rather confidently, glancing back and forth between the computer and Sara.

"Sounds reasonable," she stated and Greg nodded.

"I'll have to put that into practice."

**TBC**


	7. Greg experiments

**Chapter 7: Greg experiments**

Greg rolled to his side, opening then his eyes in surprise as his bed was emptier than it was supposed to be. Sara had apparently already left.

Greg had actually thought she would say goodbye before she would leave with Grissom for Oregon, but obviously she had not been able to wait for it, not even taking the time to wake up Greg and say goodbye.

Greg groaned, slamming his pillow onto his face, wondering then if that had been such a smart idea. Why was he so grumpy this morning? Sara would only be gone for two days, there was not really a reason for him to feel all sad about her tour.

He should rather be glad that she got to see what she had been interested in for a long time. Actually Greg would not have been opposed to visit that body farm as well; he had never gotten the chance to see one since he was a CSI. But he had figured that Grissom would not be in favor of another of his employees going, the lab was busy enough after all. And maybe Grissom was not opposed to have the tour alone with Sara. Or Sara was not opposed to it.

Greg shook his head. It was a childish thought. Grissom was her boss. Greg knew that Sara had used to feel for Grissom that way, how could he have missed it? But that was long over, way before she and Greg had started dating.

Still Greg could not help feeling that he would have preferred being in Grissom's place right now. He still realized that Grissom knew so much more about Sara, and that was right now in a situation not easy to take for him, when Greg had trouble finding enough trust for her, knowing that she was shutting him out.

Greg forced himself out of bed, making his way slowly into the kitchen. The sounds he heard coming out of it already before he entered the room proved his earlier assumption wrong. Sara was still here.

"Hey, I thought you'd already left."

Sara shook her head, smiling. "I'm about to head out though."

"Yeah." Greg smiled somewhat forcedly, almost teetering on his tows. Sara put the sandwiches she had made into a small bag, before she came over to Greg, kissing him on the cheek.

"It's only for two days."

"I know." Greg smiled, and it was even more real this time. Sara made her way to the front door, Greg following her. She gave him a last quick hug, before she was gone and after he had closed the door behind her, Greg walked back into his bedroom, figuring it would not hurt to get some more sleep.

* * *

Greg was glad to be the one hitting the dummy for once and not to be Grissom's guinea pig. He had bought an equivalent of the bedroom lamp he had found at the crime scene, taking careful swings with it now. The blood on the original lamp had turned out to be the victim's indeed so at least the question after the murder weapon was answered.

It was one of the few questions they had found a solution to. Since they had detected no sign of forced entry, neither at the front door nor at any window, they were still wondering how the perpetrators had gotten into the house, if nobody had opened them that was.

It had been Greg who had mainly worked the case so far. Sara had worked the scene with him of course and she had kept an eye on his work during his analysis of the evidence but he had basically done most of the work, as Sara had been more than busy with other cases she had been working on.

Save for the questioning of the girlfriend of the victim. That one had been done by Sofia and Sara. Greg had been watching it, had been hearing most of what had been said, and had read the protocol of course. But Greg could not get rid of the feeling that the girlfriend had told something that did not appear in the protocol, that what she had said while Sofia had been gone, that what Sara had not wanted to tell him. Maybe it had really been something trivial, but maybe it would have been helping after all, although neither that woman nor Sara maybe saw it this way. She had possible seen something important, and now this information was lost.

Greg took a stronger swing on the dummy in front of him this time. He figured that his frustrated thoughts only resulted from his little progress with the case. If it had been something essential for the case, Sara certainly would have told him.

Once again he smashed the head of the dummy and was rewarded by a quiet laughter from the door. He turned his head to the origin of the sound and saw Nick standing there, grinning at him.

"Inventing a new kind of sport, Greg?" the Texan asked, chuckling again.

"Lamp-swinging maybe?" Greg took the lamp like he would be holding a baseball bat and brought it down onto the doll again. "The ankle is right this way, but it's not the right height."

"Let me try it?" Nick suggested.

Greg looked at Nick who was a tiny bit smaller than him. "I doubt this would be enough." He crouched down some inches, swinging the lamp then again. It was getting somewhat difficult to hold it this way in his crouched position, but he managed to bring it against the head of his gum victim again.

"I think that's right," he said, letting the lamp sink. "According to the simulation I did, the murder weapon came down this way onto the head of the vic."

"That means?" Nick questioned, looking curiously at the badly treated doll.

"I don't want to jump to any conclusions but I have an idea," Greg left the answer somewhat open.

* * *

The students poured out of the lecture room, while Sara was waiting in the last row for Grissom to get ready to leave as well. When he finally came up to her, he lifted his eyebrows.

"You're already back from the body farm? They said you could stay as long as you wanted," he wondered.

Sara smiled. "I couldn't miss your lecture, you know."

Grissom took the lead in leaving the room, Sara following him. "I don't think I said so much you didn't already know."

She shrugged. "Still." As a matter of fact she had another reason as well. She had wanted to catch him after the class was over, wanted to talk to him. She had been brooding over the question in her mind during their whole drive here, even during the visit of the body farm, as much as that had fascinated her.

"Do you have time now?" she asked, while they were making their way out of the university building. "I mean, I thought we could order some lunch to your hotel room…"

Grissom frowned slightly. "We can get something at a restaurant as well. We don't need to eat at the hotel."

Sara stared ahead, her gaze fixed on the woody area nearby. "I'd like to talk to you. Privately."

Grissom lifted his shoulders. "Okay."

Sara nodded shortly, wondering how she was going to start that conversation.

About an hour later Grissom was shoving his empty plate away, while Sara picked once again in her mainly untouched meal. The talk she was intending to start had destroyed any appetite she might have had. She put the plate onto the small table resignedly, leaning then back into her arm chair, pulling her knees up to her chest.

Grissom was sitting on the edge of his bed, glancing over a forensic journal. Finally he laid it aside and looked at her.

"What did you want to talk about?"

Sara let her gaze wander through the room, just to avoid having to look at a certain point.

"I don't even know where to start," she said. "I mean, sitting here, talking with you, it sounds so… silly, for lack of a better word, … pathetic maybe."

"I doubt anything that's on your mind is pathetic… or silly," Grissom returned slowly.

Sara looked at the floor. "It's just something I've been wondering," she started, guessing it was a failed attempt to make it sound like it was not even that important.

"What does make a person a murderer? I mean, what does differ a murderer from a normal person?"

She glanced up at Grissom and noticed that this question had come unprepared to him. Whatever he had expected, it had certainly not been that. Not even Grissom was able to hide this surprise. Sara let her head hang again, regretting she had even asked.

"There are different theories," Grissom started to answer finally, and Sara glanced up to him again. "Some blame the environment, genes, some say it comes all of a sudden."

"You told me once you didn't think that genes could predict violent behavior," Sara interfered, more heftily than she would have wanted.

"I said it were theories. I didn't say I agree with them," Grissom clarified. "It was actually one of the first theories in criminology that it's in the genes, and yes, there are still voices today who state that, but mainly this theory is dismissed in science today. It's more that it's still widely spread in the minds of people today."

Sara nodded. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. People think that, don't they?"

"Some do, yes. It doesn't mean they are right," he replied. "Also mental or psychological disorders don't lead automatically to crimes. Most crimes are actually committed by what one would call normal people." He paused for some moments before he continued. "Especially homicides in a family or between people who are very close often escalate from everyday life, everyday conflicts."

Sara nodded again. She realized that it had been a bad timing to voice her questions just so shortly after she had asked Grissom if he remembered her telling him about her parents. It made it certain that he knew what was moving her.

"What is most believed in in science today are psychological causes… the developmental processes that we all go through, most of us more or less successfully," Grissom continued, and Sara was glad that he kept treating her question scientifically, was not making it personal. "Empirical studies show a correlation between childhood experiences of violence and later violence; children learn from their parents, adopt patters of conflict resolution from them."

"So the apple again?" Sara questioned.

"There's a difference between correlate and cause, you know," Grissom returned, and was silent then. When Sara did not say anything further, he picked up his journal again, leaving her to her thoughts.

**TBC**


	8. Greg detects

_Thanks to Emmithar for the beta! Updates are coming a bit slower now than usual since I'm very busy with university stuff and finals are coming up, but I have the intention to update my fics soon (especially 'Something Happens') lol._

* * *

**Chapter 8: Greg detects**

Greg had been in time. Actually he had been more than in time. He was not exactly close to max out on overtime again, but it was a good thing Sara would come back the next morning, otherwise he might manage that. Although he could not completely exclude that they would not simply max out together once Sara was back.

He had actually found time for a round in the gym, had stopped by at a friend's, had shopped enough groceries to be provided for for weeks, considering how little he was home. But then he had made his way to the lab early. He had the feeling that he was getting very close to the solution of his case, and he could not wait to follow the idea he had.

Now he was sitting in front of a computer in the lab, typing into a database. His idea which he had not wanted to disclose to Nick had been that there had not been any perpetrators who had broken into the house of the victim, but that the killer had already been inside the house, even though when police arrived at the scene, she had been barricading herself in the bathroom.

He typed the first and last name of the victim's girlfriend, waiting then for the computer to search through thousands of names. He got some results, but quickly browsing through them Greg had to realize that none of it fitted his search.

One result caught his eye though. The woman who had been convicted for second degree murder of her husband had the exact same name as the girlfriend, only she was 25 years older.

Greg swallowed. He could not draw any conclusion from that; it would speak against everything he had learned in his job. But it was not the only thing by far that was telling him that his suspicion was right. The lack of evidence of forced entry into the house, the fact that the victim had been killed in the bedroom in his pajamas, and the conclusion that the killer had been rather small that Greg had gained from both the simulation and his reenactment of the lethal blow, were not firm evidence, but they were pointing into a direction.

Greg was just about to shut off the program, when he hesitated. Following a hunch, but having a bad conscience about his doing, Greg typed Sara's name into the computer.

He had wondered about her behavior for so long, he was not even the only one who had done so, half of the lab had been wondering about Sara's outbreaks on certain cases.

She had not been willing to give him a single clue about what was in her head, but her reaction and behavior in relation to the current case, had firmed Greg's resolution to find out what was going on with her.

None of the few results he received fitted and there was no such connection like with his earlier search either. Almost deciding to give up this attempt, Greg only entered 'Sidle' this time. The amount of results was the next thing that made him almost stop, realizing that Sidle was simply a too common name.

Then he limited the search on homicides and the number of hits diminished drastically. There were still a handful of results, but he would be able to go through these in no time.

Staring at the screen Greg wondered for another moment, if he really wanted to do this, if he really wanted to snoop around in Sara's life like that. Then he clicked on the first result on the screen and saw that it was too late to go back.

Laura Sidle had been convicted for second degree murder of her husband over twenty years ago. Their child had been given to a foster home. Greg closed his eyes, knowing that it could still be a coincidence, but when he looked at the picture of the woman again, he had to admit to himself that the similarity was simply too obvious.

* * *

Sara was looking out of the window at the passenger's side of the car, she and Grissom being on their way back to Las Vegas. Sara was looking forward to being at home again. She had not been gone for long, but she missed Greg. 

She felt like she had not really treated him fairly in the recent time. She had wondered if she could give him enough in their relationship, but how was she supposed to do that when she was shutting him out, keeping things from him?

As much as she was afraid of what he might think, or what she thought about herself, she could not keep information about the case from him, even if it affected her personally. She had lost his trust when she had shut him out from a case once, had even brought him into trouble so that she was left alone to deal with the case which had led to a disaster at the end.

She had slowly won back his trust; they were in a relationship in that Greg was giving his whole heart while she still did not know if she could give him the warmth and comfort he might want, need, in a relationship. And now she was failing already at deserving Greg's trust. She had to make it up to him.

For starters she should help him out on his case and tell him what the girlfriend of the victim had told her during her statement, right when Sofia had been outside, when only Sara had heard what she had said.

'I'm not my mother' she had muttered and Sara had frowned, feeling as if the woman had looked right into her head, had read her mind. Of course she could not have known, but that had not prevented it being stuck in Sara's mind.

It was only a little more than an hour before she would be home, would go over to Greg's and start making it up to him. She would tell him everything that was on her mind, everything she was afraid of; she had confidence that Greg would return the trust she was putting into him. Smiling slightly she leaned back in her seat, knowing she would not be able to suddenly change how she was, but one thing she certainly knew she could give Greg was the confirmation that she deserved his trust.

* * *

It had been in the spur of a moment that Greg had decided to take a short detour on his way home from the lab and stop by the house of the victim where his girlfriend was now living alone. He had tried calling Sara on her cell phone, wanting to check if she was already at home, but she had not picked up, so he had only left her a short message telling her of his plan. 

Greg walked towards the front door, wondering if Sara would stop by at his place once she was back from Oregon. He hoped she would. He was not really sure what he would say, if he would say anything at all, but he would find a way. He would ensure her that she could trust him, that she could confide in him with anything.

Greg rang the bell at the house, thinking once again how different the house looked now that it was not at night, now that it was not the crime scene they were working on. It looked as normal as any other house on the street, nobody would have suspected that a crime had happened there.

The front door was opened after some moments, the woman looking at Greg wondering. She had dark circles under her eyes and had obviously been crying. Greg swallowed and wondered how it was possible that he was suspecting her to have killed her boyfriend, as much as she was apparently grieving.

"You're a CSI, aren't you?" she asked quietly and Greg nodded. "What do you want?" her tone was rather unfriendly and Greg could imagine that a CSI poking around in the morning was that last thing she needed right now.

He was not even sure anymore what he actually wanted. His discoveries at the lab during the last night had brought him here, but know he did not know what he wanted to ask her, what he wanted her to tell him.

"I'm here about your boyfriend's murder," he said uncomfortably, realizing he was only telling her what she could already guess.

"I figured," she replied sighing. "Do you want to come in?"

Greg nodded insecurely. "Eh, yeah." He could have kicked himself for his uncertainty. What was she going to think of him? Greg figured that he was not on an official trip anyway; maybe he could just talk to her personally.

He followed her into the house and she closed the front door. Inside it was looking clean and neat, nothing reminded of the chaos that had been there the night the murder had happened.

"So what do you want?" the woman asked Greg again.

"Well, there were some things that were not quite clear to me," Greg started, looking around in the house. "For starters the weapon with that your boyfriend was killed was the bedroom lamp and I wondered why we found it in the living room."

"The perps brought it there," the woman returned, lifting her eyebrows.

"But why did they do that?" Greg replied. "And actually I think it was a small person with not a lot of strength who swung the lamp onto your boyfriend's head."

"What do you want to say with that?" she questioned sharply. Greg realized that he had almost gone too far. If she really was the killer he could not provoke her any further with his questions without bringing himself into danger. It had been a stupid idea to come here in the first place.

Greg turned around from where he had been looking at the way from the bedroom to the bathroom, more suspicions forming in his mind. When he faced the woman again who was standing in the way between where Greg was and the front door, he noticed that his realization that it was better to stop here, had come too late.

She was holding a kitchen knife, and Greg had no idea from where she had brought it. Greg's gaze was at the weapon and he swallowed, trying to stay calm. Nothing was lost yet. It could have been way worse; she could have had a gun, leaving Greg no chance.

Now he was still having one, if he only managed to stay away from her.

**TBC**


	9. Sara admits

_A/N: Thanks to Emmithar for the beta!_

* * *

**Chapter 9: Sara admits**

The beating of his heart seemed to be the prevalent sound in the room. Greg was looking around for a way out. This was not the way he was supposed to find out who had killed the deceased owner of the house. That he was now face to face with the murderer showed clearly that something had gone wrong. Very very wrong, he thought, starring ahead, not able to take his gaze away from the knife in the woman's hand, imagining how it would slice him up. He had seen the result of it way too often to be able to ban this imagination from his mind.

"What are you doing?" he asked, hoping against hope that there was another explanation for the knife in the woman's hand than the obvious one. It was a stupid question and he wondered why he was not able to keep his mouth shut. Maybe he would shut off forever very soon. Greg swallowed, trying to keep the fear under control. It was not the first time that he had found himself in a dangerous situation; he had certainly seen worse.

"What do you think I am doing?" the woman returned. "You've snooped around more than enough." He had actually done not more than his job, Greg thought. And he had to continue doing his job. Stay calm and do what he had learned to do. Call for backup. The question was only how he was supposed to do that.

"Come on," Greg said, trying to sound calm, soothingly. "How do you think this is going to work? You can't just get rid off me. They'll get you and then you're in for two murders." Maybe staying silent would really have been better.

"Why?" she smiled, pacing a few step to the side. "The perps who killed my boyfriend came back, unfortunately killing the CSI who was just around, while I hid in the bathroom."

"Sure," Greg replied dryly, glad the trembling in his voice was apparently not audible. "They come back here in broad daylight. Nobody's going to believe that." If he managed to distract her long enough…

The woman was coming closer to him and Greg's gaze went around, still searching for a way out. He thought about calling for backup for a moment, guessing that he had the choice between not calling and being injured anyway and calling and getting hurt when the woman tried to keep him from doing it. He had to raise his chances.

Greg reached for his phone, when suddenly the door bell rang. The woman turned her head towards the door for a moment and Greg used the opportunity and was within a few steps over at the window, struggling to get it open. It did not even open a crack, no matter how hard he tried.

A second later the woman was approaching him, seeing that he was trying to get out. The door bell rang again, followed by a knock on the door, then by the loud and clear demand to open up.

It seemed to be only a moment later that the door was broken up and the woman jerked around to see what was happening. Greg saw Brass entering the building, holding his gun pointed, while Greg stood nailed to the spot.

"Drop the knife," Brass demanded. The order was followed immediately and Greg breathed a sigh of relief when Brass took the woman into custody, while another person entered the scene. Sara came walking quickly inside the house, looking around until she saw Greg standing near the window at the other side of the room.

"Didn't I say 'wait outside'?" Brass asked her, while he was leading the woman out of the house. Sara turned to him frowning.

"The scene is cleared, isn't it?" she returned, Brass shaking his head at her slightly. Sara made her way over to Greg, taking him into a hug before he could even say something. He was certainly glad to see her, but realized now that he had acted just as stupid and undeliberately as she had when she had been stabbed at the crime scene. And the same thing had almost happened to him.

Sara wanted to yell at him, reprimand him for being so stupid. The drive here with Brass had been too much of a scare, beginning the minute she had heard the message Greg had left her to the moment she had seen him being alright after Brass had entered the house.

But Sara remained silent. If she had told him what she knew, things would have been different, so how could she berate him? She frowned at him, and he looked back at her, apparently not knowing what to think.

Sara laid an arm on his back, shoving him gently towards the exit. Outside Brass had handed the woman over to two other police officers who had arrived at the site, and turned to Greg and Sara now.

"It wasn't the brightest idea to come here alone, kiddo."

Greg felt apparently uncomfortable under Brass reproof and Sara's critical look. "I just wanted to talk to her. I didn't think she'd really…"

Brass nodded, motioning to Greg's car then. "You two get in there and go home," he demanded. Greg would have expected that Brass wanted a statement from him right away, but obviously saw other priorities. Sara frowned slightly at first but hurried then after Greg, and not even fifteen minutes later Greg was closing the door of his apartment behind himself.

He had dropped off Sara at her place and had then driven home himself. Greg had been relieved that Sara had obviously felt that Brass had already made his point clear sufficiently, for she did not talk about the incident anymore, which Greg had expected, after all it had been a stupidity, almost reaching the extent of Sara's foolishness when she had entered that suspected crime scene alone. Actually Sara had hardly said anything at all, before they had arrived at her place and she had gotten out of the car.

Barely an hour later Greg was taking a pizza out of his oven, when the door bell rang. Wondering who it was, he made his way to the front door.

His hopes were fulfilled when he found Sara outside, smiling at him, but apparently nervous. Greg saw that she was holding a cat box with a cat in it with her and raised his eyebrows, wondering what Sara was up to. Did she not like the cat anymore and planned to just give it to Greg?

"Uh, come in, I guess," he said, almost shrugging. Sara did so, following him into the living room. "My lunch is just turning cold in the kitchen. Do you want to have some?" Greg asked somewhat lost at her unexpected appearance. He would have thought she needed some sleep after the long drive from Oregon, and even more so after the stress Greg's own stupidity had caused her.

"Okay." Sara seemed rather indifferent on the topic of eating. Greg went into the kitchen, returning with the pizza and two plates. He saw that Sara had left the cat out of the box and he followed the animal's movements suspiciously.

"What is the cat doing here?" he asked finally, chuckling.

Sara looked somewhat uncomfortable before she answered after a moment. "She wants to ask you if she can stay at your place. Permanently," she stated in all earnest. "Only if you want to, of course," she added quickly.

Greg looked at her confused. Sara could have asked him directly. He could not agree more with her wish. He figured that she had not really brought the cat to have a way to ask him, but rather because she had been pretty sure he would agree and did not want to leave the animal alone, but Greg was still inclined to carry on what Sara had started.

"Of course, she can," he grinned broadly. "But who's going to clean the cat box?"

"Me, I guess," Sara shrugged, smiling.

"And who pays the cat food?"

Sara stared at him, but did not answer.

"Is the cat vegetarian, too?" he went on.

"Greg…"

"Just a question."

Greg dropped onto the couch and Sara sat down next to him, pulling her legs up and turning to Greg. He was just about to ask her about the trip to Oregon, when she started to speak.

"I'm so sorry."

Greg did not know what she meant, for if somebody had to be sorry it was him. For his foolishness, for giving her that fright to begin with. And for something else she did not even know about yet: for snooping around in her past, in her life.

"About what?" he asked her therefore.

Sara started quietly. "That I didn't tell you what I knew about that woman. That I shut you out, didn't tell you what was going on," she told him, looking at the couch, not at him. "I mean, if you'd known you'd never gone to that woman alone… And it's not only because of that."

Greg wondered what Sara exactly knew, but guessed that it was something similar he had found out.

"Sara, I knew about it," he admitted, knowing that it made his stupidity only bigger, and he was afraid that Sara would realize that too.

Her gaze went up to him, frowning. "You knew?"

Greg grimaced. "I don't know what you know, but I did some research and…"

Sara nodded. "Me too."

"Why?" Greg was looking at her intensively now, and Sara had once again the feeling that he knew. The look was different than it had been some days ago, but for her it was only more so a sign that he knew something, something about her.

Sara leaned back, trying to explain. "When the girlfriend of the vic was giving her statement… in between… when Sofia wasn't there…"

Greg nodded, remembering the situation. "I know what you mean, go on."

"She said to me 'I'm not my mother.' I had a suspicion and did some research then." The way she said it, Greg might have wondered how she had gotten that suspicion but he would have never suspected more behind it, if he had not known what he learned when he had pried into her life.

He nodded. "I think I found out the same. It actually made me want to go to her even more so because I just couldn't believe that she was after all. I didn't think she'd…" he trailed off, getting the slight idea that the same thing was on Sara's mind like on his, had actually been for quite a while.

"And after all it was like that," Sara said deflated. She had made so strong a resolution to tell him, but she felt like she just could not, could not tell him, if he not already knew anyway.

Greg shrugged helplessly. "Yeah, but I don't think it had to be like that. I mean, I don't think that it was going to happen anyway. Of course it's possible she'll plead some mental disorder, will let her lawyer tell at court that it's in her family, that it wasn't in her hands or whatever, but I don't think so. Just because her mother was a killer, doesn't make her daughter a bad person, or gives you a real reason to think she'd ever be." Greg pulled his legs onto the couch as well, coming closer to Sara.

There were some moments of silence, before Sara looked at him sadly and the question was written all over her face, but she still spoke it out.

"Do you know?" she asked quietly.

Greg nodded earnestly. "Not the details, but…" There was not really a way he was getting around this admission, even though he feared that Sara's plan to move in with him would be thrown over now, him having betrayed her trust like that, prying into her past.

Sara nodded as well. To Greg's surprise she did not appear to be angry, or maybe the storm was just building up. He would not really be able to blame her. Or she had just not realized what he had done.

"I'm sorry I snooped around in your life," he started, hoping to save at least something, wondering still in this moment how he was exactly going to explain it to her. The truth was probably a good start.

"It's okay, I should've told you anyway…" she said.

Greg looked at her confused. "Aren't you mad at me for prying into your life? Man, I even once told you I'm not one to pry and now see what I've done." He glanced at her deflated.

Sara frowned. "What have you done?"

Greg braced himself for the storm to come. "Did some research, looked up some stuff…" he started carefully, still hoping to tell her somewhat soothingly.

Sara sighed. "I guess I'm just too exhausted right now to be mad at you, and really, I'm not even sure if I should be." She shook her head.

"Does that mean the storm will come later?" Greg looked actually somewhat scared.

Sara smiled slightly. "Not when you look like this," she admitted, raising her eyebrows at him. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you," she added after some moments.

Greg nodded. "It's just that… it is much more important to me what you are doing than what your parents did. I want to trust you, so you have to be able to trust me as well." He shrugged helplessly. "I thought I'd be over the whole thing back when, you know, you turned on me, but somehow I wait for it to happen again every day, every day when for you one of your cases might be more important than I, or when I might just be getting on your nerves, when you have enough from me…" Greg was afraid he was sounding pathetic now.

"Greg, I had promised you that you can trust me. And you can. And I don't have enough from you, and cases are not more important to me than you are… even if it looks like it sometimes." She sighed, shaking her head.

"I just got the feeling recently that you don't want me to get involved into your life, not even into what's going on at work," Greg added quietly, explaining. He had to give her a reason for how he was feeling. How else was she supposed to handle his insecurities?

Sara nodded. "I'll work on it, promise," she said, "But you know me, and… I won't be able to become another person."

"As if I'd ever want that." Greg smiled, giving her a short kiss that made Sara smile as well.

"When I get all closed off and broody, just wave a red flag and remind me of it, okay?" Sara asked him. Greg nodded, leaning in to her again. "I want to live together with you," she said then.

"I do, too." He laid his arms around her back, and Sara leaned back onto the couch, Greg lying over her. After some moments he glanced to the side, seeing the two plates he had brought out of the kitchen earlier standing on the small table. "Our pizza's turning cold," he said, laughing.

"We better eat it then," Sara returned smiling, moving to get out below him. Greg sat up, leaving Sara some space. She reached for the plates, handing Greg one of them who bit with healthy appetite into his slice of pizza, watching Sara doing the same more slowly though.

He was feeling giggly now, grinning at her slightly. He was glad that she back, and right now he felt like they could overcome any problem that might exit or arise in their relationship. Sara wanted to live together with him, he could not have wished for more.

He knew that he tended to feel unsure about their relationship, wondering whether Sara really wanted to be together with him, or if he was just an interlude, somebody who amused her for so long.

But she was probably just as unsure herself. She seemed to have actually thought he might be worried because of what had happened in her past. Greg maybe sometimes had had a problem trusting her completely, but he had never suspected that Sara thought that he trusted her so little, had so little confidence in her as a person.

But now he was happy, and as far as he could tell, Sara was, too.

"So, just bring your stuff over whenever you want," he suggested. "I'll help of course."

"I would have made you carry some stuff anyway," Sara smiled at him. "You're grinning," she remarked.

"Well, I'm very happy," Greg chuckled. "You're moving in with me."

Sara raised her eyebrows at him. "I never would've thought that somebody's so happy about me moving in," she admitted matter-of-factly.

"You were wrong then."

Sara nodded, leaning in to him, and she was not the only one who was feeling more than safe and confident now.

**The End**

* * *

_First of all, thanks for reading and replying! Who has read the previous stories in this "series" can already imagine what comes next. Yeah, I can still not leave Greg and Sara alone, but I have already started another follow-up story which is called **Troubled Times **and should be up soon. I hope that there will be still someone who reads it. lol_

_Kegel_


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